


Chasing Fire

by ri_ri_ku_7



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: A lot of blushing, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Onesies, Tokiya POV, Tokiya is an awkward bean, and a dumpster on fire, and smiles, i shouldn't be allowed to write him tbh, kind of first crush but it's like if you squint, probably oocness, pyjama au, sprinkle of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 14:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ri_ri_ku_7/pseuds/ri_ri_ku_7
Summary: A pair of onesies, hot chocolate and a warm smile is all needed to have The Talk with your adorable roommate.For Kim and everyone suffering Tokiya's tier borders in SL.





	Chasing Fire

**Author's Note:**

> non-beta'd 
> 
> my first fic, be gentle  
> i hope this brings small happiness to anyone reading

Tokiya puffs out a small cloud under his breath and stares at the intersection across the road. A few people are idly walking around bus stops and one man is jumping in-place to keep warm. It’s the start of the winter season in the northern Europe and the weather is freezing, at least to Tokiya. He hadn’t prepared enough warm clothes to wear and it bothered him to no end and as a certain redhead had caught him on it, he had disappeared to a nearby mall leaving Tokiya leaning to the wall. As Tokiya hated crowded places, and ventilated air was usually too stuffy to breathe, he was left with the choice of staying outside in the cold weather.  


Tokiya huddles into himself and shuffles closer to the wall. He has hands in his pockets but the ice cold air is prickling at his nose and cheeks and his breath hitches everytime he tries to get oxygen in his lungs. After dozens of tours and gigs around Japan and even a few times in Europe, Starish members decided to have a break to calm everyone’s nerves and let them relax by making them tour around smaller countries all over the world. So Tokiya was here, close to the northpole, touring with his overly carefree roommate and duet partner Otoya. They are supposed to have one gig at a nearby bar and a big stadium gig after it in another city, which would end their stay in this country and Tokiya has never been so eager to leave.  


The bluenette glances at the sky, only seeing murky clouds creating a thick veil on top of the stars. He momentarily wishes someone would blow them away until he catches a glimpse of bright red hair. Otoya is standing at the traffic lights and is eagerly thumping his leg presumably to the sound of music blasting from his earphones. Tokiya wants to shout at him to move faster although he’s usually very patient but the coldness that’s seeping into his bones through a green winter jacket is close to making him an icicle. He has to wonder how the redhead looks content and excited even in a weather like this. Well, Tokiya knows better to not dwell on it since it’s Otoya.  


He sees red flashing in his peripheral vision and Otoya is _dashing_ towards him, almost full speed, bags swinging wildly but still somehow remaining in his hands. Tokiya is prepared for the oncoming crash but the other boy skids on the frozen asphalt right in front of him and does a small cheering gesture, sending Tokiya almost over the edge. He knows he’s being overly sensitive and childish but he just cannot stand the cold for another second.  


“Ichinose-san, I got the stuff! We can head back to the hotel”, the redhead cheerily chirps and shows him the aforementioned shopping bag. Tokiya tries hard to not glare at the boy and probably miserably fails at it but the younger man isn’t paying any attention to it. Otoya has already started walking and Tokiya has fallen into his comfortable walking pace but the redhead still manages to look at him with brimming eyes without slipping on the sidewalk. Tokiya has questions written all over his face and that’s something the younger man takes note of.  


“It’s a secret but trust me, it’s going to make you feel warm”, Otoya says while having a bright smile on his face. Honestly, that smile could fool anyone else but Kotobuki-senpai and Tokiya. The way his lips curve a bit too much indicate mischief and unadultered amusement, which Tokiya isn’t too keen on finding out about. After his doubts begin to pile up, a comfortable silence sets between them, making only the sound of passing cars and their footsteps prevalent.  


The travel to their hotel feels endless in Tokiya’s head and when they finally enter their shared hotel room, he wants to run under the covers and ask Otoya to set him on fire. He naturally decides against it and graciously takes off his jacket and shoes and sits down on his bed. His fingers felt numb when they entered the hotel lounge but now they are getting warm again and sending tickling sensations so much that Tokiya feels weary and begins to crawl under the covers fully clothed. Otoya stops him by suddenly exclaiming something and grabbing his right wrist. Tokiya whips his head to confront red eyes, because everyone in Starish knows how uncomfortable and bad he’s with physical contact and especially Otoya, who is very accustomed to Tokiya by rooming with him for years, knows how to keep himself from being overly familiar and respecting Tokiya’s personal space.  


“Ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to grab you so violently, Ichinose-san”, Otoya instantly backtracks as he sees Tokiya’s tight smile and a small glint of panic in the older man’s eyes. The redhead pulls his hand away and awkwardly takes two pieces of cloth to showcase to the bluenette. If he wasn’t gawking before, he sure is now.  


“Pyjamas! The blue one is for you. I also got us some marshmellows and ordered hot chocolate from the reception, which they will bring over soon”, Otoya genuinely smiles and scratches his neck. Seeing the redhead getting embarrassed and a small tint of redness appearing on the man’s face wakes Tokiya up from his daze and he feels his throat go dry. He’s actually speechless for the first time in his entire life.  
Otoya is holding a blue onesie with small cat ears on top and a tail and Tokiya is pretty sure he’s dreaming when the redhead barely audibly whispers for him to try it on. Tokiya just watches Otoya lay down the onesie on his bed before doing a small bow and actually _escaping_ to the bathroom. He’s too stunned to even move and decides hastily to touch the cloth and run his finger on it after a deep breath. He hears rustling, another stifled shout and a small bang and begins to grow worried for the over energetic redhead before the bathroom door opens slowly. Usually Otoya just bursts through doors and seems to have limitless energy but now his entry is more subdued and it takes a moment for Tokiya to realize why.  


The boy is wearing assumingly a pair of Tokiya’s onesie, but Otoya’s is red and it’s hard to tell where the cloth ends because of the raging shades of red on the younger boy’s face. His red hair and face totally blends in with the costume and Tokiya notes he’s speechless the second time in his entire life.  


“I-I thought it would make you feel more comfortable wearing this if I had it on as well”, Otoya stutters and blushes even brighter red on his cheeks. Tokiya is gaping like a fish now but he feels his face flushing red so he swiftly gets up and grabs the onesie to run past the blushing mess to the bathroom. He closes the door and slumps against it to get his breathing in control.  


After a few stedying breaths he has the courage to look himself in the mirror and internally curses how his cheeks are painted in rose red. He has always been aware of the younger idol’s charms and the cuteness he radiates when he offers people his 100-watt-smile but this feels different. Tokiya understands idols have a pleasant aura and visible beauty and he sees it in every member of Starish as well. However, now he feels his face heat up and his lungs constricting and his mind going blank at the sight of the redhead in a childish onesie and he feels ridiculous. There’s a warm feeling blossoming in his chest and he can’t quite identify if it’s admiration, affection or wonder, but he decides he has spent way too much time in the bathroom and quickly gets on with pulling the offending onesie on. With another check-up in the mirror to see his face emotionless, a practiced mask of calmness on, Tokiya opens the door and steps out.  


First Otoya is nowhere in sight but after a while of turning his head around he sees the redhead by the door, probably there receiving the hot chocolate mugs. Tokiya fumbles with his fingers for a bit, waiting for Otoya to finish talking to the hotel attendant and looking at the windows hidden behind a wall of curtains. Suddenly the room feels all too small and he goes around the luggage to spread open the black canvas and he almost gasps outloud. The nightsky that was hidden under clouds before is now shining with multiple tiny stars, making the whole scene absolutely spellbinding. Tokiya could recognize the star constellations, see a plane’s lights flying over the horizon and how the North Star is guiding the way of people wandering in the forests. He feels a light tap on his shoulder and doesn’t shuffle away, just turns to face Otoya who is holding two steaming cups of delicious looking hot chocolate.  


“I asked them not to put as much sugar on yours. Here”, the boy says and offers one mug towards Tokiya. He takes it and appreciates the warmness in his hand.  


“Thank you, Ittoki”, he answers gratefully and nods when Otoya’s smile widens slightly. The boy’s eyes have an alluring spark on them and Tokiya feels his throat becoming dry again so he takes a careful sip of the steaming goodness.  


“I see you decided to wear it in the end,” Otoya states as he puts down his mug on the table and proceeds to sit down on his bed, “It looks good on you, stop with the suspicious looks!”  


Tokiya eyes him for a moment before sighing into his mug and taking another sip. He still isn’t able to wrap his head around two grown-up men wearing matching onesies on a hotel room while drinking hot chocolate on a cold winter evening, but he decides to let it go in favor of enjoying the warmness. Tokiya contemplates sitting next to Otoya but finds it too peculiar to be normal of him so he plops down in his own bed. He’s planning to spend rest of the evening reading the book he’s hooked on and indulging himself on the rare sweet thing on his hands. Tokiya is about to make his plans come true until he glimpses at the man sitting few meters from him and stops in his tracks. Otoya is staring at the windows with a wistful look but it feels like he’s not quite there, in their shared hotel room. The steam keeps wafting from his mug that’s set on the table on the side of his bed. There’s an air of stillness, melancholy perhaps and Tokiya audibly gulps. He’s not sure how to handle such feelings on the bubbly redhead. Otoya hears the unordinary sound and turns his head to stare back at the deep blue eyes. They sit completely still, just staring at each other, only their breaths audible. It’s a weird moment for Tokiya and although his head has thoughts rushing in, he feels oddly at peace.  


When no further words are uttered, Otoya suddenly cuts the eyecontact and makes a gesture for Tokiya to join him. The bluenette isn’t sure what exactly Otoya is implying so he gets up and pushes their beds together. The redhead’s eyes largen in size due to shock but soon a familiar smile falls on his face. Tokiya feels like he’s walking on eggshells so he carefully sits down next to Otoya but on his own bed to be polite and also because he feels too conscious of his misinterpretation.  


“Care to listen a story?” Otoya says barely louder than a whisper when Tokiya is staring at him, probably too intently. The older man just manages a nod, so very scared of the fragile expression on the other’s face. Tokiya doesn’t notice how Otoya inches closer to feel the warmth of another’s body to comfort him.  


“I...I’ve been thinking a lot after we decided to have this break with Starish and”, there’s a swallow, “I feel like I’m not doing enough. Not being good enough. I make mistakes, so many mistakes and it’s eating me alive”, Otoya says and there’s a small tremble to his voice. He’s clearly holding back tears and Tokiya feels his chest ache and his heart break to pieces. He’s not used to seeing his cheerful partner like this, so weak and humane and still so utterly charming Tokiya is feeling more helpless than he ever imagined he could.  


Tokiya puts down his warm mug right next to Otoya’s and he proceeds to tentatively wrap his arms around the younger boy. The sobs are ringing loud by then so he tugs him a bit closer and unhelpfully notes that the red onesie doesn’t have a tail like his. Otoya is sobbing into the crook of his neck and his whole body is rocking in-between the sobs. He feels feather light and Tokiya marvels at the feeling of having another warm body against his chest. Although he’s very much against physical contact in any form, he feels that this is alright. It feels comfortable, calming even and for a worrywart like Tokiya it’s honestly strange.  


Minutes pass and the sobs are starting to go down in volume, ending up to sniffles before stopping altogether. Tokiya is slowly patting Otoya’s back to make him calm down and he’s so lost on what to do that he’s moving by instinct. Otoya’s strained breath is ghosting over Tokiya’s collarbones and he feels his face warming up with every intake of breath but he’s too focused on making the redhead feel better that he’s not giving it a second thought.  


“Otoya”, Tokiya says with an unexpectedly warm voice and he can feel the redhead jump after hearing his first name from the bluenette’s lips. They have been living together, singing and performing together, but they have always had a wall between them; something that kept them from discarding the formality. Tokiya has been calling the redhead by first name for as long as he can remember in his mind, but he has never thought of breaking through the barrier before.  


“Starish is what it is today because of how hard you worked to unite us; to make us fit like pieces to a puzzle. Do not underestimate your worth to us”, Tokiya supplies while adding “and to me” in his head. He’s shaken up by his thoughts because it’s still so fresh to him but he decides to ignore it to gauge the reaction from the younger man.  


Otoya has lifted his head and is facing Tokiya’s eyes head-on. His face is very close, maybe too close but the smile on the redhead’s face is breathtaking. It’s serene and so warm that Tokiya feels the last coldness wash away like a tide. He cannot utter a single word, he just stares. Stares so long that Otoya’s face turns pink and he can even see shades of red in his ears.  


“Thank you, Tokiya.”  


Tokiya feels like someone knocked the wind out of him when he hears those words and his name. Otoya’s voice is breathless, a small huff of air but so full of emotion and affection that Tokiya thinks he’s going to have to repeat that in his head dozens of times to comprehend the weight of those words. Otoya’s body still feels warm around him and Tokiya is too rooted in place to remove his hands from the other’s sides so when Otoya falls back onto his, or rather theirs, bed, Tokiya falls down with him. It’s a tangle of limbs but Otoya’s smile is as bright as sun so Tokiya’s lips pull up too. They are laughing and as shocking as it is to him, he’s feeling good about it. It feels right.  


After coming down from his momentary high, Tokiya realizes how close they are both laying. Otoya has pulled the blanket over them when his attention was somewhere else and now they’re both laying on their sides, facing each other. Otoya’s red eyes bore into his blue ones and the boy has flushed cheeks and a wide grin crossing over his face. Tokiya becomes conscious of the distance, their breaths mingling and every single detail; his lips, his nose, his long dark eyelashes and he feels his face burning, and he hopes the darkness of the room hides it.  


“I hope there will be a lot of people at the gig tomorrow”, Otoya whispers and while he doesn’t have a worried expression, there’s still some uneasiness that Tokiya recognizes. He gives the most reassuring smile he can manage and adds:  


“Yes, I’m sure it will be packed. We need to do proper vocal warm-ups tomorrow since it’s very cold.”  
Otoya has the audacity to giggle at him when the bluenette emphasizes the word “cold” and Tokiya fixes him with a glare. The giggling stops but the amused smile doesn’t leave the man’s face.  


“Well... Are you feeling warm now?” Otoya asks him while his smile becomes softer, more affectionate and Tokiya has to focus so he doesn’t have a coughing fit. He wears a softer expression now without even realizing it and makes a tiny smile.  


“Yes.”  


Otoya visibly brightens and shuffles closer, if that is even possible and Tokiya’s mind is helpfully supplying how he’s basically spooning the younger man. With the close proximity Tokiya can hear the redhead’s slowly pounding heart and feel the heat emanating from the younger man and he lets the shambles of his self-restraint go and relishes in the warmness. Otoya’s head is laying on the pillow, Tokiya’s hand under his neck, which makes it possible for the older man to twirl his fingers into the burning red hair. It feels soft to the touch and he’s completely absorbed in it to not notice how the redhead’s eyes start to close and how small appreciating hums escape from his mouth.  


“Hey, Tokiya...This...is the first time I feel like I’m home after my parents died”, Otoya says, voice so quiet and vulnerable. The boy has opened his red eyes, burning like a wildfire and he’s staring right into Tokiya’s soul. His breath is hitching for sure but the sight is so mesmerizing he cannot look away. He has always had a vague feeling that Otoya’s parents weren’t around anymore and when the redhead did secret visits to a nearby orphanage every other month, he was sure Otoya had a few secrets in his past he wasn’t ready to talk about. So, hearing it directly from the redhead warms his core with sympathy and sadness but there’s also something else that Tokiya cannot quite name yet.  


Otoya is clearly waiting for his reaction but Tokiya has nothing to say. Instead, he hums in agreement and pulls the redhead closer and places a small kiss on to the crown of the redhead’s hair. He can feel Otoya tensing under his touch but in just a few seconds it’s all gone. Tokiya can feel the soft laughter bubblying from the redhead and the quiet rumbling against his chest. He has to wonder how long it has been when he has last felt this peaceful, breathless. He nuzzles the younger boy’s soft hair and feels hands cautiously wrapping around his waist, until they become heavier and ground him like a cage.  


“Before Starish...I was lost. I didn’t have close family ties and then suddenly I have all these peculiar people around me, caring for me..It was overwhelming”, Tokiya slowly starts, testing waters. He can feel Otoya’s soft smile on his chest and the bluenette feels such a rush of emotions that he’s at a loss on how to deal with them for a moment. However, he continues:  


“And then there was you. I didn’t have a single clue on how to deal with you. You were cheerful, sociable and especially nosy about others’ business. Full of life and energy and complete opposite of me. I was jealous and frustrated; you reminded me of the things I could never be.”  


Tokiya speaks so honestly that it even surprises himself. He hadn’t realized such emotions had taken residue in his heart but speaking them outloud gives him the feeling of freedom. It feels like some shackles that have been pulling and weighing him down are finally breaking. It’s scary and he’s not used to laying himself so bare but he thinks if he’s ever going to do it, it’s now.  


“But then I realized I wouldn’t need to strive to be something I’m not fit to be. I...I wanted to find who I wanted to be and you... You made me realize my shortcomings”, Tokiya finishes, making a choked sound. He means every single word and has carefully thought how to properly express himself. It’s still so hard for him and he is already panicking about the redhead not completely understanding, but then he feels the hands around his waist tightening. Tokiya is close to bursting to tears as well because the weight on his heart and the lump on his throat is coming undone so easily that he feels stupid not talking about it earlier. He also knows how the redhead understands everything he tries to convey with utmost certainty and the bluenette doesn’t need a definite answer, because the younger man’s gestures already tell him everything there’s to know. It’s baffling him.  


Tokiya cannot explain to anyone how or when or why Otoya managed to break through his carefully molded mask but at some point he noticed the light shining from his roommate, brightening the darkness he was hiding behind carefully built walls. It felt natural, so much that he didn’t even fight back, he embraced it. Because of that, he’s in a hotel room snuggling with his duet partner in a tour around a cold land. Tokiya can feel the emotional weariness creeping on him and the heaviness of his body after traveling so many hours to the city.  


“Just for a bit...Let’s stay like this”, he hears Otoya say muffled against his chest. It sends sparkles into Tokiya’s chest and he makes himself comfortable holding the redhead. There’s calm breathing brushing over his collarbones again but it just washes over the older man comfortingly. Tokiya just listens to their stable breathing, soothing all the surfaced emotions and casting a calming blanket over himself. He can instantly tell when the redhead descends to sleep, his breathing settling down to a slower pace.  


Tokiya is still incomplete, he’s working on himself with every performance and work assignment, but one thing has become clearer to him by every passing minute today. He’s not sure if he has to thank the pyjamas or some higher power about it, but he knows he has to re-think all of his emotions towards a certain redhead laying silently in his hold.  


There’s something simmering in his chest; a spark.  


He doesn’t know it yet, but that tiny spark will continue to grow...  


and become a passionate flame.


End file.
